i can pinpoint exactly when it was that i fell in love with you
it was when we first brushed up against each other
you almost kissed me, and i turned away
because i knew this time it was different
that you would take me places i couldn’t even imagine
discover parts of myself i had spent so long covering up
your embrace has always been my safety
your whispers still swirl around me
your tongue grazes itself against my skin
and that feeling never left
you make it easy to be me, and easy to be us
i’ve never been at greater peace with myself than when i’m with you
-Laiseng Saechao, 8.15.2016
Spaghetti pasta, with a red wine tomato sauce. Tossed with onions, olives, and thyme. My tummy is very happy tonight.
you feel like the deepest inhale i will ever take
filling my lungs entirely, deeply, intentionally
a reminder of how much life i have to live and how much tenderness i have to offer
the way you cradle your hand against my face, and whisper i love you
that is what i want the universe to reverberate even when we are gone
-Laiseng Saechao, 6.9.2016
let’s let our souls be free from wounds
allow them to wrap around each other
however loosely or tightly we need
in the spiritual, emotional, physical translation
of our connection.
i promise it doesn’t have to look like
yesterday or tomorrow
the past or the future
just today, here, now, present
that is perfectly good enough.
-Laiseng Saechao, 3.27.2016
this is the pain of trial and errors
that in pursuit of gold you may only find dirt
and sometimes you are left wondering
if maybe it was better to have not searched at all
that you might not miss what you were so eager to find
but there is a way that gold insinuates greed
we should have let it be precisely what it was
twenty four hours of lust and a lifetime of playful curiosities
that made us wonder what if
and instead we scrounged for more
to only let ourselves misinterpret kisses and touch
for what we believed could have been love
-Laiseng Saechao. 3.27.2016
i hate when words sit on the tip of my tongue, tied to a knot in my throat
words are my freedom, but sometimes i can feel you gripping onto every letter
each one dissolving
-Laiseng Saechao, 3.21.2016
There was a time where I thought the world revolved around you. As though my existence was solely dependent on you being my center of gravity. A frame of mind that survival was for a life that was not my own, but for us.
I know now how wrong that was. The way I loved you, and the way you loved me back.
As if you’d be there always, and forever. As though love was supposed to be painful and a symbol of triumph. That forgiveness was mandatory even when my heart wasn’t healed.
We built a statue, I just didn’t know it was made of ruins.