Today I had meetings to attend in Downtown Oakland, and afterwards I spent the day with Audrey working at a local cafe. It was a productive block of time, and I finished a lot of work that I needed to get settled (mini accomplishments are the best). After going with her to pick up her hemmed dress, we got on BART together and headed home. After a long day of working I decided to have dinner with Marilen and Kevin and we watched (drum roll please) INSIDE OUT! I almost had a brain freeze/stomach freeze from chugging my Mexican Bulldog and we rushed over to see the movie. Can I just take this time to say that this movie was fantastic? I thought it was so incredibly adorable and had really important themes about the need for all of the emotions, and how complicated feelings can be. I think we often get so caught up in trying to simplify our feelings when in fact it is so much more complex than that.
This is especially relevant to me because this past year has been quite a difficult one health wise– not just for me, but for my family. For this reason, I often feel sad and angry at the world for what has happened, but also incredibly grateful for life. It often seems like I can’t quite explain myself to other friends and family because I’m constantly in this limbo of never knowing exactly how I feel. Sometimes I’m okay, and sometimes I’m not. However, I think there is some beauty in not having everything figured out. When will we ever? So I guess it’s just something we need to be comfortable with… the comfort that everything is continuously changing and moving and we just need to hold on for the ride and hope for the best. And in times of need, when we feel weak and hopeless, we look to those we love to see the small glimmers of joy. Yet, we don’t always have to be happy. When I was younger my mom used to tell me that it was okay to cry, to cry it all out. She told me that if I felt sad, I’d feel so much better after a cathartic release of sadness– and you know what, she was totally right. So my advice? From one of the wisest women I have ever known, it’s okay to cry and to feel things completely if that is what is genuine and authentic because it just means building a stronger you every step of the way.